Lost.

Back when I was single, I have lots of interests. I am a person who wants to get to try everything! Kaya nga master of none ako eh. But I take pride in my fervent intention to actually have a first hand experience in everything I particularly want. I love arts and crafts. I love reading. I love writing. I love discovering new things. I love the feeling of learning something out of my own perseverance, out of the resources I have, without asking help from anyone. I refuse to be that someone who asks a lot of questions from others before trying to answer them myself. Do you get me?

But since I got into a relationship, I found myself slowly disconnecting with the things I love doing. I got lesser time for myself and invested a lot in working out a relationship I’ve wished for years to come and pray to last for a lifetime.

People around me say, don’t let yourself get lost whilst in a relationship. You need to still have the sense of individualism even if you’re not solely responsible for yourself alone anymore. And I get it. I want that. The sense of freedom, the sense of knowing you’re still the one you taught yourself to be. I do not want to get lost. I do not want to depend my happiness, my core’s strength, on my partner. I want to be whole and complete and happy by myself to be double happy with my love.

I am not saying this because I am not happy at my state right now. I am. Totally. I am just being proactive. I don’t want to start when it’s too late. I want to preserve my self worth before & during (as I am not wishing for after) my status.

So slowly, I am re-attaching to those things I’ve loved even before the love of my life came along.

Wish me luck!

Still me,

S♥♥♥

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