Maybe because I’ve been reading Nicholas Sparks nonstop for the past weekend that I have thought of putting up a post about relationship. Or maybe the idea was in my head all along but I was just too lazy to organize my thoughts. But regardless of how I came up with this topic, here are the top five things I come to realize throughout the year I was in a relationship.
1. Understand and Accept
You and your partner are two different individuals. It’s safe to say that every experiences–pain, memories, ideals, mistakes–molded each of you and made everything you are today. Thus, you have to understand that what you like may not be appealing to him and vice versa.
Understanding each other’s background will give an edge on the coming months of your relationship especially when you face challenges and fights.
And of course, if you understand where your partner is coming from, it’ll be easier for you to accept that some things are just like the way it is. If you love a person, you will accept everything that comes with him. Hey, it isn’t easy I know. But what is it that you wouldn’t do for the one you love?
2. Be generous
I’m not talking about material things here. But let me share this to you, if you don’t know yet, that being committed to someone means being responsible for them. Be responsible in the sense that you’re generous of what love, kindness, and empathy you could offer. When you’re in a relationship, it’s as much about you as it is about your partner’s needs. Be selfless. Extend any help you can to make things lighter for the both of you. Give as much and don’t think about what you can take. Impart everything you know, share a piece of you.
3. Respect your partner
As mentioned earlier, you and your partner are two different souls. There would be arguments, that’s for sure. But amidst your heated conversations, don’t forget to respect your partner no matter how monster-like he might be in your eyes at that moment. He is an individual who expects and deserves to be respected, as much as you think you deserve to be respected as well. More so, if you put your partner on a highlight, it’s easier for you to regard him as someone who’s dependable and trustworthy. If you trust him, you would respect every decision he would make which means you know he would not do anything that will jeopardize your relationship.
4. Learn things: Together, from each other, and individually
Everyday you will learn new things within and outside your relationship. And there are things that you know but your partner is still clueless about and vice versa. Thus, it is important to impart whatever knowledge you have in every aspect of life. Be the channel to make him a better person. Don’t change him to degrade his character but to enhance and tap his potentials. Would it not be great to see your other half achieve milestones because you helped him? Encourage each other too to try new things where you’ll benefit from. Be the cheerer, be proud, support him. I’m sure he’ll be doing the same thing.
5. And lastly, Love is a CHOICE
This is what I’ve been holding on to when it comes to love. You wouldn’t have had to experience everything when it comes to love if you haven’t made the choice to love. And if you could choose if you will love or not, it’s more fitting to say you could choose who to love. After all, everything in life is a choice. When you were still in the courting stage, it’s your choice if you will move into the next stage or not. It’s your choice if you will commit yourself to an individual you found out that’s far different from you. It’s your choice if you will let yourself to love. It is also a choice if you will stay in a relationship. It’s so easy to give up on your partner when you’re arguing over things, and it’ll be in your hands if you will continue or not. But that’s the beauty of choosing love. It enables you to become who you should become. It will make you realize your limits. It will test your values, your faith, your beliefs. And it will always be your choice and how you’ll live up to the consequences.
So before all of these, choose wisely whom you will love. Choose that one person you could stick with through whatever. Choose that someone who makes loving him worthwhile.
Choose someone who will make you feel you have done the right choice.
Loving and in love with love,