The ugly things

They said, “To love is to be vulnerable” and many thought, myself included, that if that’s the case…it would be awesome, beautiful, to be one–loving and weak–to that one who made you believe.

You pretty much strip yourself naked to that person you chose to be completely in love with, entrusting your heart, and letting him all the way in your life.

But then, at one point, it becomes scary, not pretty, don’t you think?

Last night I was slapped on my face when I realized it takes a lot of courage and bravery to share your life with someone. The pretty, cheesy, things happen before you reach a wall that says, “Hey stop right there. Think again, darling.” And I came upon it, sooner than I thought.

I made a mental note that to love freely, abundantly, and without hesitations entitle you to a journey of ups and downs, turns and bumps…and I shivered at the possible ugly things that I will encounter–emotionally and otherwise. So see? Loving means entering a jungle of hanging vines and snake pit.

But I countered myself, to at least stop my mind from going overboard of negativity, and tried to think of…well, happy thoughts. Positive things. Of endless, wonderful possibilities.

I am scared, still, yes. But to love with restrictions, with walls, I think, will feel suffocating and unfair.

So now I tried to squeeze open my heart for all the things–good and bad–love bring. Beautiful things might just pop right in my very eyes, don’t you think?

But you know, I will still be careful.

‘Can’t blame me, it is still my heart which is on the line.


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