Of tomorrow and decisions

As much as possible I don’t want to dwell into negative things nowadays. I had been in the black hole for so long last year and getting back there won’t do me any good now. But sometimes, the bad things pave way to the great things that is coming your way.

And so even though things are far from being perfect in my life at this point, I wanna turn things around–this dark place will be my light, my guide as I stumble across this naysaying situation. Yeah, I’ve matured tremendously in a span of 3 years. Of course I am not saying I am already that wise regarding life matters, but let’s just say that I am beginning to understand how the world works. It isn’t pretty, alright, but it can be the small flaw in the big picture that will make it more beautiful from afar.

Today, or this past few days, I had been contemplating on what to do with my life. What actions should I take to get to that place I want to be. Because, believe me, I am far from being at my best now. My career isn’t as good as my colleagues’. And that makes me worry a lot.

I have long got over the fact that I hadn’t met the expectations of my professors, friends, classmates, and, yeah, myself. I had accepted that what I am then will not always be as time passes by. People get older, people discover lots about themselves…people get lost along the way. But with that, I am grateful to the Lord because we could redeem ourselves by believing in Him, and in our capabilities.

Luck, destiny…whatever that makes our lives roll doesn’t matter. I guess it’s just a matter of knowing our abilities and utilizing it.

It isn’t easy to know where to start, I know. Heck, I still don’t know what I want. But as I had mentioned, I am still hopeful. I am remaining to be positive.

Now that I am at a crossroad again, all I ever want to ask for is a guide. A mark, a sign that will lead me to that path I have long asked from the Lord. I just want to know where I am going. And I want to know that my next step is my right way.

Again…things aren’t easy now. But why make them more difficult by wrapping yourself around it right?

This time I will make a move. This time I will make a risk. This time I will be proactive.

And God give me strength and patience to be all this.

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